Subjects I have been doing internet research on this morning: gay culture and fashion in LA, transcendence, and ecstasy, the drug. Did you know ecstasy was legal in the U.S until 1985? It was invented at the beginning of the century and was initially used for and promoted by psychologists who claimed its primary benefit was improving communication between people in a close relationship. It was also used in studies of people with PTSD and rape victims (although these studies were disallowed, for some reason). It is also associated with transcendence, especially when used in combination with trippy drugs like mushrooms. All the major religions address the concept of transcendence, and I’m having a real desire to explore and experience it. I’ve been practicing the ujai breath whenever I remember to, especially when riding the train or sitting at my desk doing nothing. Obviously drugs help change the mind so that it can receive greater “understanding” and transcendence. But one cannot be doing drugs all the time for so many reasons, mainly that they take a toll on the mind and the body, cause tolerance and dependence, and are expensive.
You know, it’s funny; this guy sitting in the cubicle next to me constantly wants to ask all these questions and make conversation with everyone but especially me because with my limited knowledge I trained him, and he doesn’t take a hint too quickly. He wants to do his job well and really gets into it, but that’s annoying because everyone else in this office has given up. And I’m reminded of when I too wanted to do things right here and help the company stop wasting time and money. But they don’t care. If they don’t care, I don’t care. And this fucking guy shouldn’t care!
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