the giggles

So we ate the mushrooms this afternoon... and the fact that I thought we might go to the park is laughable. There is no way we could have left the house in that state. Mine kicked in when on the phone with Time Warner, when I told my number wrong then looked at MK and we started laughing uncontrollably and I had to end the call. Basically it was like being tickled, where the laughter starts to hurt after awhile. The mind came off it's hinges. If consciousness and the mind are like a car attatched to rails that's riding along the rails, be aware that you can get off the ride. Michelle hated the experience, and I really loved it. I was scared at first, for sure. But then I decided to let go. And while everything was funny in a scary way, and there was also some nausea and a need to lay down and keep still, I definitely felt aware of the wide open world of nothingness, of everything, that lies outside consciousness. It's so real. The mind has to be attatched to our regular perspective in order to function, but outside of that is god and everything truly spiritual. I think that's why Michelle hated the experience. She doesn't believe in God and feels skeptical of everything non-scientific and western. I kept calling her "the dead girl" because that's how she appeared to me. It freaked her out when I said it, but everytime I looked at her I saw her like a Tim Burton character, with a gray face, a very attractive dead girl. I felt like we exist outside life too.....god fuck it all I can't explain it. I just know that this world isn't real and all the daily things we have to do....I don't feel like doing them. I want more. I want to know everything. I want to feel everything. I want to escape, with Michelle.