a mi me odia las lunes

This weekend Michelle and I went over to see Mark's new place on 5th avenue. It is totally awesome and we are jealous. It's basically just a huge loftspace above the Asian bodega between 8th and 9th street. The front of the apartment looks out over 5th ave. and the entire wall is windows. It's so sweet. I was kind of disappointed to find out that Jen is pregnant though because what would have been the music room (Mark built walls and stuff) is now going to be the baby room. The music room is now going to be this tiny space in the back, doubling as a closet, with a drip coming from the ceiling. There is no stove in the apt. because it's not a legal residential rental. I'm not saying I don't love babies... I just don't understand how people can be willing to give up their own life for the baby. It seems to me like your independent life is pretty much over at that point.

I am still hating my bod, insofar as the weight I gained isn't going away, it's just sitting on my booty... but Michelle seems to like it, so I really shouldn't complain. If she likes it, then I'm happy. But I don't want to be at work right now. I don't want to study. I just spent a while reading about Bipolar disorder. Last night I had this weird convo with my mom where I was saying that I am into setting limits with responsiblities, such as saying that NOTHING is worth working on more than 50 hours a week, tops. Like, she is nuts, because she works long hours during the weekdays, and then spends 8 hours + doing paperwork on both Saturday and Sunday. And she has all the reasons as to why that is reasonable. And my point is just that nothing is worth that. There has to be a way to do things differently so that you can have the weekend off... I just don't get it. She seems very stubborn in her ways here, but then she has all these terrible migraines and other health problems, and she has to take all these meds. And then it's like, duh, anyone would have a headache if they did paperwork all weekend, literally. wtf. Anyways, that's why I say that even when (and if) I become I teacher, I fucking refuse to run myself into the ground. There are reasonable amounts of energy and time to expect for anyone in any given occupation, and I just REFUSE. I am totally willing to be a half-assed teacher if that's what it takes to have my evenings and weekends free. Besides the fact that I don't agree that teachers should bend over backwards for kids who don't give a fuck anyways. I still want to be their teacher, but I will be clear on the fact that it's their responsibility if they want to do something with their life, or if they want to try to be a thug and end up dead or in jail. This will not be a HBO movie, this right here. I don't think great lesson plans, etc., have a whole lot to do with anything. Certain individuals are stronger than the herd, and they will fight, but the majority of people are weak and pathetic. My personal worldview on this Monday morning.

Oh, btw, *someone* is 29 days free of crack and cocaine. Doing better than ever. As for me, I had my period this weekend so I had to treat that a bit. Now I've got natural seratonin moving around in my brain and I need to concentrate. I need to get shit done. I'm posting these photos to show off my new bangs, cut last night. I have class tonight, which sucks. I like to just go home.

PS. New York State just took back over half of the measley refund that they initially gave me. That is total bullshit! Why do I pay so much taxes in this city?