Agitation

Barry just called me. Barry is my good for nothing landlord, and he's calling because he just received my rent minus cost and receipt for a small repair that I found someone to do for me because he would or could not find anyone. Basically, I needed a doorknob put on a door, and I needed this since I moved in over a year ago. This repair should have cost less than seventy five dollars. It could have been a simple thing, if Barry was willing to get it done. Instead, I found a card on the street for a locksmith, they came right over, and when all was said and done charged me over four hundred dollars. That's funny, right? The doorknob itself cost two hundred and ten dollars. Of course I knew this was not quite right, but I was nervous about having a stranger in the apartment and the locksmith assured me several times that the cost was standard. I didn't realize he was installing a top of the line doorknob. Plus I knew that if I sent him away the work would never get done.

I took the apartment with the understanding that it would be fixed up for me. That's what they told me. Basically I have been a dumb girl in many ways, and I was very trusting and naive. I really expected them to work on the apartment before I moved in. Instead it was the same fucking shit hole as when I looked at it! Duh I should have known! The floor was torn up with holes, electrical sockets were broken, it wasn't painted, it was dirty. I should have negged on the lease and left right then. But I was tired, and nobody was helping me, certainly not my roommate but she did complain and bitch constantly, which made me feel that it was my fault and my responsibility.

Also, Barry told me I would have backyard access. I should realized that since the door to the backyard wasn't in our apartment, this was an obvious lie. But my desperation and Midwestern niceness again were obstacles to common sense. I learned very quickly that only my trashy, loud neighbors had backyard access (see pictures below) and that no one ever mops or sweeps the hallways. There is no lock on the first of the front doors to the building, the light always goes out, basically it's unsafe and vile in every way.

For the first few months of the lease I tried to get things done, constantly nagging Barry and asking him to send people to fix things. He sent people that were drunk and high, who botched things and didn't have the right supplies and didn't finish anything. So I gave up. Barry's "super" is named Kika and he lives down the street and runs this fake store. I get very, very bad vibes from him. He's creepy and hostile. I think that "store" is some kind of drug den, because of the people that hang out there and the empty bags littered around the area.

When I first asked Barry to fix the doorknob, he sent me to Kika. When I went to Kika, he sent me to Barry. Then I tried to reach Barry for three days. Then we played phone tag while he pretended to try to find someone. Then he told me to find someone on my own if I could. Then I found the locksmith card, called the number, and they came over. So can you blame me for accepting the bill?? I admit that it is a form of revenge. I knew Barry would shit his pants and cry when he saw what I did. But doesn't he deserve it!? Isn't that what he gets?

But I actually hate having conflict with anyone, so now I'm all anxious and nervous about it. He's calling me, texting me, he's going to try to make me pay for it. Now I wish it never happened and am scared to stick up for myself. I have been playing dumb, I sent a text telling him to contact the locksmith because I know nothing about costs. I'm just a girl. And I don't think he can make me pay for it, because I plan to use my security as last month's rent! But I don't want to talk to him on the phone!! But then again, I want to tell him how wrong he is for not taking care of the building. Well, I know I've sent him a pretty clear message, but maybe I would enjoy being direct also, and remind him how he lied to me (just a dumb girl) when he rented the apartment to me in the first place. But I think I should avoid his calls for awhile, just let him sweat it out. I kind of enjoy that thought, but more so want it resolved. This is why I've been nice to him all along, and even lied at times saying the apartment was fine and yes, the neighbors have been taking out their open garbage bags in the hallway "most of the time now." They never take that shit out. It rots in the summer. So I have to be strong here, I have to tolerate the tension of knowing he is upset with me and will try to make me pay the bill. I just hate people being mad at me! I want everyone to like me and agree with me. But at the same time, I hate that motherfucker and am glad he lost money in this stupid situation, it didn't have to be like this.