Obviously, Nixmary is not the only kid to be killed by their mother or stepfather. She happens to have been exceptionally pretty and the murder especially cruel, that is the reason for so much media attention. But I'm like everyone else, I felt both horrified and fascinated when I saw that girl's face on the cover of the Post and the Daily News. So of course I've been following the little segments as they appear in the paper.
The main thing I've noticed so far is the mother's lack of remorse. I can barely write about this without becoming extremely upset. I've talked to several people already and am still unable to detatch for some reason. Actually I've written other blogs about this and still what I really want to do is scream at that dead girl's mother. I have plenty to say about the "justice" system in general of course, but I don't want to focus on that either, because real justice is divine. In this case, Nixzmary's mother has only felt sorry for herself. She complains about the other prison inmates being mean to her, not having visitation rights, having also been abused by the boyfriend/stepfather, having been busy with other children during the time of the murder, and she wanted to plead a lesser charge than Cesar (the boyfriend). I'm not sure if that went through or not though.
NOW ON TOP OF ALL THIS, she is asking that she be allowed a second chance to testify because at the pretrial hearing she was "depressed and suicidal" AND THAT BITCH IS BEING MEDICATED FOR DEPRESSION WHAT THE FUCK? She should be fucking suicidal She should be depressed! Why does she get to numb her feelings with medication???? What is the point of the whole justice system if the inmates are allowed to numb their "bad" feelings and are not forced to suffer TO THE FULLEST INTERNAL EXTENT for their "crimes" i.e sins?? What is the point? If someone is not forced to feel the real, entire scope of their guilt and absolute responsibility, and do not truly repent, they are not changed and are no longer living but walking dead souls, in which case all punative action is null and void. Put her on suicide watch, yes, make sure she lives to feel it, that she was THE MOTHER and that girl was HERS to take care of, not fucking Cesar's, nobody else, HER, she let the girl die, the blood is on HER hands. Depression is not like the flu, not that kind of sickness! Why do they make feelings into a medically treatable condition?? I wish the term "depression" was never invented, so that people could identify and use other terms such as grief and guilt and shame and rage and disappointment.
i'm not saying in the least that it's not the twisted mother's fault but in these cases, much of what we hear in the court precedings is the result of cold hearted lawyers who have no souls and are seasoned pros when it comes to swamping people with tons of irrelevant verbiage about mental this and that.. to avoid the real facts and the real crime and the real 'justice' that would otherwise be handed down. ... but also rest assured that in cases such as this, there is no antidepressant that can possibly enable her to avoid the reality of what she did. hard illicit drugs, maybe. antid's, definitely not. i blame her heartless defense attorney for this argument, almost as much as i blame her.
ReplyDeleteand of course, tragedies such as this ultimately lead people such as myself to ask: what kind of deity would allow for such things to occur?
ReplyDeletetrue about the lawyers and i was thinking about that somewhat myself. regarding the question "what kind of god" well i think you know i do not believe in a god that is like a giant human or one that controls things one way or the other, but perhaps the energy of justice coming to fruition or something, perhaps it could only be conceived if you could comprehend the entire span of time and all the lives we will live or.....fuck if i know. but i know god isn't a good guy or a bad guy but encompasses all things and we cannot possibly understand, like ants trying to comprehend cosmic history or something equally impossible.
ReplyDeletePS last night i asked Tatiana if she would like a sister named Nixzmary and I kept saying their two names, Tatiana and Nixzmary and I swear Tati gave me the love eyes which means she likes the sound of it very much, so now I'm feeling pretty attatched to the idea.
ReplyDeletethis is reminiscent of a discussion i think we once had in person, and think agreed on. by no means do i think 'god,' if there is one, is up there 'calling the shots.' but what i cant stand is when people like to explain any sort of occurence - blessed or horrific - as being 'god's will' or anything of the like. or worse, people that want to credit god for certain acts but not others... and if god isn't responsible for making things happen, why pray to ask him/her/it for tangible things? .. but hmm anyways, admittedly, in my comment above, it would be inferred that id think 'god' has a say in what goes on down here. i dont even believe in one, but i guess ive been brainwashed into perceiving 'god' as the one moving things around down here, from above - so much so that in a moment i speak of a god in a way i dont even believe myself. ... hmm, im typing this fast and not sure if im making any sense. i sense circles. ... on another note, i'll be more than happy to give you a cat named nixzmary!! 8)
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