Yesterday I proposed to Mischa that from now on I act as her superego. I suggested this for several reasons. One reason is it really looks fun to me. And I think I'd be good at it. I enjoy berating myself quite a bit and I know exactly what her naughty little id needs to hear. Also, I think her superego needs a break every now and then. Who better to take over than me? Plus I just want to get as close as possible to her id, the most exciting one I have ever encountered, and what better way to get in there besides the pain and punishment? This will only be a temporary and intermittent exercise. And it can only happen in the special superego room. The room, we decided, will just have a treadmill, where I can scream at Mischa to walk faster and longer and call her fat when she gets tired and remind her of the junk food she ate especially cookies (bad). Also I'll have a notebook where I read off all the mistakes she made throughout the day or week, and mock her and ridicule her for them. I suppose I need to let her try being my superego every once in awhile, but I am afraid. I think she might be too good at it. Plus she would probably try to burn me or cut me or something, yikes. You can see in those eyes that she could be cruel, can't you?
But after spending time in the superego room, perhaps we will refresh in the yoga room, and chant ourselves out of all three parts of consciousness, and after that go swimming and pretend it's the womb and be reborn. Infinite possibilities, and infinite pink hearts for Mischa, the most beautiful mind ever trapped behind glowing, frantic black pupils and a trembling brow.
this weekend, you did give me a few small tastes of what you as my superego would/could encompass. if it could stick (and im not saying id want it to), i'd sure hope for 'superego follows you' to come true. as for the id, your name has come to be all over it. my drives, they burn for you. and my psyche, as a whole, is under your spell - and it's oh so delightful.
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