But I am the knight in shining armor-

Last night I dreamed there were these two gang/mob leaders who were performing a ritual. One of them was riding a horse-lion, some sort of animal that doesn't exist. He had swords and he reached under and pierced the beast from below, and it kept moving and going up on its rear legs. Then the man lit a fire underneath it, to cook and eat it. While it was burning, I saw the head of another horse-lion sitting on the ground nearby. Then some police came to arrest the men, and I said "nooo nooo!" because the horse-lions would go to waste. I didn't want them to have been killed for nothing.

Kathleen is a lady I dreamed about Monday night. She had long, dark hair and a thin but somewhat flabby/weak body. I saw her from the back. She had one of those bottoms that is pretty flat and where the crack starts really low. I knew I was in love with her and I was watching her dance. I asked her, "Do you prefer to go out or stay inside?" And she said, "I like to stay inside, in front of the mirror, to fantasize." Then there was another gal whom I loved. She was miniature, childlike, and crippled, but very cute. Her name was Maritza. I saw her up in a tree on a flat piece of paper like an ornament and I said, "Mitzy! Mitzy!" Then I called her on the phone and said even though we were long distance, I would find ways to visit.

So last night I dreamed about Maritza again. I wanted to call her from the hospital, where I was taken by my parents after sustaining a serious head injury. Actually I sustained two head injuries. The one I remember was where I was up on this wooden structure in a grocery store type place. My cousin or friend was scrambling ahead and climbing down, but suddenly I realized the structure was crumbling and I was falling. The next thing I know I was with my family and they said I had fallen on my head and I thought of Natasha Richardson and how she thought she was fine at first. I was walking and suddenly I felt confused and dizzy and sick and I just fell down. My parents didn't call an ambulance, they just started dragging me to the hospital. I was out of it, but I know my body was sliding all around and knocked into a pedestrian standing in front of the hospital.

Later on, me, my sister Jo, and my sister Care were laying on our backs on the ground. Jo started propping herself up on me and Care, like her elbows were pressing into us on either side of her. She was pressing me too hard, and I said stop, I have a head injury already, but she pressed harder. Then I hit her, and she hit me back, harder. And I felt very weak, but I kept trying to protest because I might die or something, and I was yelling for my mom to help and finally she pulled Joanna off of us. Then Joanna said she only did that because she was uncomfortable with a question my parents asked her about puberty, like about facial hair or something.

Then we were at a water slide, and it looked like fun at first. I got in the water wearing all these clothes and a nice, new sweatshirt. But the water slide turned out to be made of cement and it was rough going down. At the bottom the water poured into these canals, where the water was really dirty and gross. It was slimy and there were scary chunks at the bottom, so we got out of the water and tried to rinse ourselves in this fountain. It looked like there was thick algae all over me.

There was a bunch of other dreams too... but I can't remember.

... Yesterday evening when I got home from work, I immediately noted signs that all was not right in the apartment or with my wife. I was correct, and in such a way that I felt quite overwhelmed. I did not think I could manage my reaction! However, I just lay down on the couch for a couple hours with a blanket and pillow over my face and listened to a mix CD of some really good songs. Then I got up and ate macaroni and cheese and finally went into the TV room to continue the conversation with Michelle or to just go to sleep because I wasn't mad anymore. But we were both pretty confused and at a loss. To finally admit a reality that has been systematically repressed and denied! This scary thing felt like a fire-breathing dragon with a thousand mini-dragons inside, waiting to be birthed.