battered wife syndrome

You know what's the worst? When you have a friend who is dating or married to a total asshole, and she refuses to fend for herself in any real way. It would not be so bad if she would just say honestly, "I'm dating a very cold and selfish person who enjoys controlling, insulting, or humiliating me, but I think I'm worthless so I better just stay put." What do you say to your friend? Do you tell your friend when their hubby cheats on them or talks shit about them behind their back, like says their not smart or thin enough? I did not share the information, but was dumped nonetheless, simply for KNOWING what was said and not finding it funny.

See, I wasn't even mad about this anymore until Michelle stirred it up this weekend by contacting Jessica and saying that Alicia owes me (me!) an apology. I'm not the type to hold grudges AT ALL. Seriously, it takes like an earthquake level conflict to keep me from patching things up whenever possible. But this, this shit is crazy. There is only one other grudge I have and it is against someone just like Alicia, who seems cute and sweet and quirky and smart... and inside is just rotten. This type of person usually picks a partner who is insecure or who craves an authority figure to validate them in some way. And this type shows the world (and their wife) a persona who is NOT their entire, real self. The real self has no friends, and whenever it comes out, it drives more friends away. Yet the girlfriend or wife feels really proud of herself because, "He may have hurt other gals, but he's good to me. He must have changed for me, yay!!" Jessica said Alicia treats her LIKE A PRINCESS now. If Alicia manages to ACT that way meanwhile her real, miserable personality is hidden and submerged... it's really a testament to her intelligence, which is indisputable. Although it's easier to hide things when your girlfriend/wife doesn't want to know the truth, and they usually don't! They usually just want to be taken care of.

Jessica should have appreciated the way I stuck up for her to Alicia, who was trashing her behind her back and for no reason! I basically sacrificed my friendship with Alicia for her! I asked myself, what kind of person is this, who trashes her own wife? That's not funny, that's mean and pathetic. And now these two are happy as can be, and somehow Jessica thinks that I owe Alicia an apology!? For what... confronting Alicia about her own statements, privately???! I didn't even share the insulting and humiliating info with Jess until NOW, months later! And actually, Michelle shared it, not me! Yet, I'm dumped. Nice, right?

I curse Alicia DiPietro, and if I ever get a good chance to teach her a lesson in any way that's legal and reasonable, I will! It is not enough for me to know that her world of happiness is fake! But for now, I'm putting it on a shelf in my mind, to collect a bit of dust.

To reiterate: I have no love for cheaters and liars. Or for the spineless wives that defend them and overlook their "indiscretions." Consider this, when a man is a serial rapist or pedophile or other horrible thing, don't you think his wife knows? Don't you think, if she does not know, that she is choosing to not know? The same is true if the spouse is gay. YOU KNOW IT. If you stick your head in the sand, "for the children's sake," or any other bullshit reason, you are also responsible for the pain that is caused. And you cause your own pain. I get angry about this because people never want to take responsibility. And we are responsible for what we know and what we don't know. And why should someone treat one girlfriend heinously and another girlfriend nicely? Say your husband is nice to you but goes out on Friday nights, picks up sex workers, and beats them? Do you say, "Well it's the whores' fault for being whores?" No! It's your husband's fault for being sadistic and misogynistic, and by staying with him you condone both the cheating and the beating! So if you think you're lucky to have snagged the guy that abandons or hurts other women, or has in the past, your turn is coming and you are really stupid! I want to see you realize that. Because now I'm all angry and worked up. You think it means you're valuable or that you have some power, so you'll stay with him forever and live like a sleep-walker! Because yeah, it could still make a nice photo op and you could put it online?

The only move that cheaters and liars like Alicia DiPietro can make, once confronted, is to "never talk to you again." And they mean it. That's one committment they can really make. It's like a vampire trying to hide their identity to survive in civilization. But they should not have become friends with me in the first place because they should have known that I carry the message. I have to deliver it, that's my purpose, that's what I do.