The Moon is so Hollow

I can't sleep tonight. Michelle is passed out and snoring lightly. Sweetly. Once she was asleep, I got close to her. We have barely touched or spoken since last Thursday. Friday, she started using again. Can I talk about this here? I have no idea if anyone reads this. I hope only strangers read it. Michelle and I had a horrible date at Rachel's tonight. She expressed strong disappointment over the fact that it wasn't a nice or "romantic" time. I remained calm. I have remained calm, for the most part, since Friday. Last summer, I could barely cope because I didn't understand addiction. Tonight, I am okay, and I believe that she will be okay too. I married a sick little lady. I almost lost my cool at dinner. I started laughing, not because I was happy, but because she was being so ridiculous, really trying to fight with me, and swearing to god that she was sober while nodding off into her enchilada. It was pathetic. I refused to engage on all levels because I could see that it was pointless. She wanted me to agree that she was "just tired.