this is a really dumb thing to worry about but i am extremely worried that my band will never have another show! if there was one lined up, then i could worry about it being bad. but there isn't one lined up. things keep falling through. and why? maybe it's a good thing because by the time it happens i will be able to bring more people ....maybe.....ew it's all so uncertain! we didn't have practice on friday so i feel like it's in my imagination that i'm even in a band. and i just got off myspace and saw all the things other people are doing and some of them haven't been together that long either. i am an awkward performer i think because i am nervous and self conscious but if i had a little practice?? but i can't talk to people. i'm not going to fucking send off myspace emails. i'm not walking into somewhere with a crappy rehearsal recording and try to be cute. i'm not going to harrass people i consider casual friends. i don't know what to do! i'm writing about it here instead!
actually i'm at my friend's house and we're heading to williamsburg to do some backup vocals for a boy we knew from school .... and i'm smoking and i shouldn't be because it definitely ruins my voice and makes me way more depressed and paranoid than i am naturally.
but i'm not paranoid. i just know what everyone is thinking. about me.
:O
maybe you just need to find another band. something with an queer asian in it. maybe a black lesbian. we'd get gigs. you know we would.
ReplyDeletewould do a project with you any day, any time, any .... city? that's the problem little Malu.
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