La Virgen

This is a painting of la virgen. I painted la virgen a few years ago and it is one of two paintings that I finished, total. The second one was better, it was of me with cuts all over my body next to a burning cross and in front of a window. It wasn't good, but it had feeling and I gave it to a girl that I made out with a few times but there wasn't much there and neither of us pursued so I tried to get the painting back but she threw it away so I took her off my friendster and never spoke with her again. Bye bye.

OH - the garbage man slay case closed. The killer got life, by jury. I can't stop thinking about it though, the two year old girl trying to nurse her dead mother for twenty four hours, both of them covered in blood. I can't stop thinking about it. A picture keeps coming in to my mind. And I imagine Tatiana trying to cuddle with me if she found me dead. An event so traumatic will not be remembered by the child but it has to cause severe damage. (I don't remember whatever events caused my personality to deform and split, but it's definitely split into a few pieces, and I know some things happened, although nothing like what this little baby endured.) Why do things this sad and wrong have to happen? And why are there so many black male killers? Don't get mad, I'm just saying what I see in the paper every day. I know there are white killers too, serial, mass, sadistic, etc - but lately it's one black face after another in the newspaper. And black girls turning up in suitcases and garbage bags. Is it just hate - self hate and also directed outwards, especially toward women? Especially toward their own women, but as the Worthington case and the St Guillen case show, and also the high school girl picked up on the west side highway, it's something with hating white women too. It's hard to deal with the idea of abandoned bodies. That's why I would never kill myself, because you can't control what happens to your body afterward, if they mangle it or how it bleeds or rots and turns gross and ugly. They always put them in garbage bags or suitcases. Like the girl was just a piece of trash. They try to defile the girls as much as possible. They hate them. The garbage man left Worthington on the floor and her little girl .... it's basically the worst thing I've read all year.