I had to edit the ending of that last entry, deleting the parts where I started fantasizing and bragging. I wish the moments that I experience a feeling akin to self-confidence didn't always sway into a world of make believe and defense mechanism. Oh well!
On Rosh Hoshana, Michelle and I went to the Brooklyn Acupuncture Project again- I have had three sessions there and Michelle went twice. It's only a few short blocks away from our apartment! The ladies who run it are great and they only charge on a sliding scale. Robin lets Michelle pay only 10 dollars bc I told her Michelle is unemployed right now! I pay 25. This last time we went, Robin did a technique she called "surround the dragon" on my foot. That means she put four needles in around the scar tissue on the arch of my foot... it was very sensitive, to say the least. I jerked my foot away twice and she had to remind me to breathe. Once they were all in, however, it felt neat. Michelle gets them in her ears. I also get them in the wrists and hands. I like when the feeling is strong and they screw the needle in deeper. In any case, this surround the dragon really did some shit to my foot! Yikes, today it hurts more than ever. I barely was able to hobble into the office. Yesterday, it hurt when I woke up, then later in the day it felt better than it has felt in years! But in the evening, I noticed bruising and spots of bleeding under the scar tissue. I put the Chinese medicine on it that Robin gave me. She said to get more. It feels weird... like tingling... and this morning I also rubbed Castor Oil into it.
I wish my wife wasn't unemployed during this economic crisis everyone is talking about. I've been thinking a lot about jobs... how everything depends on whether you can get one. I am trying to imagine a world that would take care of people but yet they have to find their own path at the same time. Pain and fear are always the problem... how do you grow without experiencing them? But of course we try to avoid those feelings at all costs. Are they necessary?
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