FUGAZI book of dragons

I know that most people are not interested in hearing others' dreams. But I am obsessed with dreams and must record them whenever they are vividly recalled. As you may know, if you have read much of my blog, which I'm sure hardly anyone has, my dreams frequently feature bathroom activities and are full of basic and one might even say archaic symbols.

Last night I dreamed I was at a crowded concert or performance, although it was over. I was with Missy, my childhood friend and (basically innocent) sexual playmate, and we were waiting for the bathroom. There was a line and general chaos all around. When it came to be my turn, I found the toilet was brimming with water and threatening to overflow. I found that if one sat down, the water would recede, but only insofar as the whole toilet seat was completely covered, so I used my hands, etc. to make this happen. Nevertheless, the water lapped at my bottom and I found this quite disgusting. I tried to pee for a while but could not do it. Later on, I found Missy and she wanted to use the bathroom. There was someone in there, but she suddenly exclaimed that she had to have a b.m., so she went in anyway. When the door opened, I saw a girl standing over the toilet backward, working it that way, and thought I might have tried that. I heard her passing gas. Then I saw a large puddle of diarrhea spreading from an unseen part of the bathroom where Missy had rushed into, and I knew she had an accident. I felt sorry for her and wondered how she might clean up and change her clothes. Later in the dream, I was trying to find the people I came to the concert with, but I was lost and upset. Then I saw my sister Cary, and she was happy to see me too, as she couldn't find anyone. Then I looked down and saw a beautiful, large book. I picked it up and it was full of bright, red, yellow, and gold images of dragons and other seemingly Chinese or Asian works of art. The title of the book was Fugazi. I asked my sister if the book was from the concert we had attended earlier. She didn't know. I think it belonged to a couple of guys. Then I felt like I had cramps so I reached into my pants and felt for blood. Indeed, I had started my period. Then other family members appeared and I suddenly wanted to smoke some weed and I expressed that desire.

Fugazi has several meanings. Generally it has been understood as a military term for a combat situation in Vietnam that was considered untenable. It is an acronym: "Fucked Up, Got Ambushed, Zipped In." It implies the need to flee, of flying; hence, fleeting, transitory. Additionally, according to a ninja dictionary I found online, it refers to an artificial, fake, or false person.

This may have something to do with the stress I'm experiencing in school, although I don't quite see the connection. My summer classes are way more intense than I expected. The amount of reading to do and papers I have to write for these two classes (romanticism and caribbean lit) is actually inhuman. I have been in a state of panic for about 48 hours. I certainly would like to flee. In the next five weeks, I must read about eight books and write fifty pages or so... Now, I am a person who likes to concentrate on one thing at a time, not to mention I prefer a longer writer process including the creation of several drafts and time to process ideas - and this situation requires me to work in a different way. I need some ritalin, cocaine, and klonopin, asap. That's a joke actually, I can't do that. However, I do need to be constantly working, which means I probably won't write very many blogs this month. Oh, well... who cares anyway!!? There's enough here to keep any bored, lonely, curious, or similar person (or any combination thereof) busy for a while.

PS. I also dreamed my mother was gaining her weight back. She had gastric bypass a couple years ago, as you may or may not know. In my dream, I was worried for her. I felt depressed, as if her compulsive eating was an undefeatable disease.