Don't talk to me about being alone

have you ever had a feeling in a group setting of happiness like the people you're with are interesting and funny and you want to hear what they're saying and you want to entertain them too, you aren't thinking how much longer till you can take off, you are just paying attention to them, not feeling critical of all the things they say and you say, not wishing you had something to say, fidgeting and wondering what to do with your hands and arms and legs, glad when you have to go to the bathroom because it's a chance to get away from them and relax? i haven't had this feeling too much with people, but i try.