God is the unfathomable mind that contains all minds

The title of this entry is all I really want to say on the subject, but I'll make a few notes here about what led me to that statement, namely, a few problems-

1) How to accept the infinitely vast body or bodies of knowledge that I will never be able to comprehend, for instance: how to build bridges, all engineering questions and answers, all the languages, familiar with all geography and neighborhoods, advanced math and sciences including chemistry biology and diseases, how to perform surgery on every organ, ***having read every book ever written including autobiographies and memoirs and understanding every single person's experience (this is the most important one) etc so on and so forth

2) How to accept that at any point I cannot even bring to mind all the experiences and knowledge that I've acquired throughout my own short life, the elusivity of memory including all sense memories, smells sounds emotional perception, also how to do a back handspring, nursing, execute elaborate dives into water, speak spanish

3) How to make sense of the way the present moment, of all the moments that have ever occured or ever will, is the one only that definitely exists and therefore means anything but that I perceive myself as being trapped by it or actually am. The feeling evoked by looking at old pictures of models or physically beautiful people and knowing they are wrinkled and gross now or dead.

4) The fact that each individual being perceives their self and their experience as being primary and having the most importance with regard to attention and definition of reality, a totally stressful oxymoron! I mean really, in this moment and since the beginning of time and forever! Separation and connection, simultaneously; what is the actual difference between two minds?

5) How to reconcile the meaningless of every single thing with its value as that thing

That's it for now! The problems are all solved if you believe god to be the sum of all minds present past and future. This is similar to the "blanket" referred to in the Hucklebees movie and it also is a little like buddhism, except there god would also be or mostly be totally separate from all minds and from mind absolutely. But non-duality is great because it allows me to say that god is both separate from and symbiotic with mind. Where is my mind?

Here are pictures of mixing from last night. The first shot was taken not too long before I added marijuana to the mix of falafel with "everything" and Schmirnoff vodka and ended up violently vomiting for over an hour, getting the chunks all over my sweater and face when they splashed in the toilet and Brian had to bring me water but I threw that up too, and could barely walk out of the building but once in the car I heard the mixes to the last song and it was great, I'm low on that one but on the other I am pretty bright and loud and honestly I'm totally happy with them I have fantasies about being played on college radio now, and opening for someone good but that's a more nervous fantasy because performing makes me too self-critical and self-conscious it's not that fun to me yet. I still feel very sick today.